Before You Shut Them Down
Listening, humility, and the strength it takes to stay open. It's not always about being right!
Here we are….
You and me.
We.
Playing this game as a power team.
A team is a unit, all intentions unified on achieving the same goal.
We each have something unique to contribute, and … that’s magical.
Ultimately, a puzzle needs every piece of itself to be plugged in to be completed, so every piece is very, very important.
You may feel, at times, insignificant – like a lone and forgotten puzzle piece, left by the wayside.
But eventually, when the puzzle wants to be complete, it will need you! You are valuable to the collective whole, my friend.
Buck the belief that you are not worthy or complete as you are.
Unearth your soul from the dirty lies and deceptive strategies of separation you’ve been sold.
You do not need to “buy now!” in order to get a better price on your innate worth… You’re priceless.
You are a gem in the rough.
We often close ourselves off to others… to family, to friends, to people, ideas that challenge the ones we hold tightly, or to politics whose policies are abrasive to the ones we currently believe in, or religious doctrine cast to be universal, objective truth…
And so, to be closed off from ideas is to close yourself off to the world.
Like choosing to primarily breathe air from a scuba tank when clean air is accessible damn near everywhere!
The most emotionally intelligent people I know don’t rush to conclusions, or to agree/disagree/form a premature opinion… they listen long enough to form a more complete, comprehensive picture of what’s being said.
Often, they choose to hear someone out, even if the person has a polarizing set of beliefs, or are different than their own, and realize they don’t know it all, and neither does anyone…
Emotional regulation is everything here. Even if someone is dead wrong, it’s usually worth letting them finish their thought, unless it turns incoherent, hostile, or unsafe. Regulation is control, not necessarily silence. You choose when to speak and when to let the moment play out + expose itself. Stay calm and curious. When people feel heard, they tend to reveal more of why they believe what they believe, especially when emotion takes over. It’s usually a signal (emotional reaction) … a clue to what they care about most, or what they’re holding onto ideologically.
The wisest folks I know have a glimmer of humility that sparkles in their eyes, a child-like gaze, curious about the world but not hardened by it.
We’re all puzzle pieces… you and I.
What say we engage in more dialogue and instead of shutting ‘em down because you disagree, lean into hearing them out and understanding…
Ask ‘em … Why?
People want to be heard, acknowledged and seen, really.
That’s probably what most of this is about.
So, chances are, the more you lean into your authenticity, that silly goose in you …
Who knows… you may be the one to tip the scale for someone else, and be the permission-giver, “holy shit, you CAN do that?!” spark that someone needed.
Be a silly goose.
No one’s gonna do it for you.
And… who knows…
Maybe it’ll change someone’s world.
I know one thing for sure though…
It’ll change everything about yours.
-J